Downshift
by completewithtypos
Summary: Response to Naseka's Drive me Crazy challenge. ClarisseJoe oneshot. He teaches her to drive, or tries to anyway.


_Downshift_

Clarisse sat in her office, staring out the window. The sun shone brightly, and the blue sky was dotted with fluffy white clouds. Clarisse sighed. She could see and hear Spring all around her, but couldn't be a part of it until the never-ending paperwork was finished. It would be winter again by then. As the afternoon wore on, Clarisse was finding it increasingly harder to concentrate. At last, she was saved by Joseph's entrance.

"I have the security plans for the ball on Saturday." He said, closing the door behind him.

"Oh, nothing to complicated, I hope. My attention span is running rather short, I'm afraid."

Joseph came to stand behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. "Clarisse, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Joseph." She said, but her weary voice betrayed her. He leaned down so his face was level with hers.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"You always know, don't you?"

"It's my job." He said softly, kissing her cheek to let her know that it wasn't his Head of Security job that he was speaking of.

"I'm all right, Joseph, really. I'm just feeling restless. It's a beautiful spring day and I'm stuck inside doing paperwork."

"I see." He said thoughtfully.

"Do I detect wheels turning?" she asked him.

"You do. Wait here, finish whatever you're working on and I'll be back for you in ten minutes." He said smiling.

"What are you plotting, Joseph?" she asked, but he just smiled and left the room.

Clarisse found it even harder to concentrate on her work. She forced herself to finish her letter to the British Prime Minister, then straightened up her desk. She was just finishing when Joseph appeared in the doorway.

He bowed with a flourish. "If you'll follow me,"

Clarisse laughed and accepted his offered arm. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"To lunch." He replied, his eyes sparkling as he led her out the door, down the front steps and out to the car. She was surprised to find that they were not taking a limo, but a sleek black Jaguar. Releasing her arm, Joseph opened the passenger's door. Clarisse looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Do you trust me?" he teased.

"Of course I trust you!" she replied, taking his hand and allowing him to help her into the car. Clarisse turned as he slid into the driver's seat. "Are you going to tell me where you're taking me?"

"No, but don't worry. Charlotte knows you're leaving and she's perfectly capable of holding down the fort until you return." He told her as they pulled out of the palace gates.

For all his teasing, they didn't go very far. A few miles from the palace, back in the woods was an isolated little lake. Joe parked the car and got out. After helping Clarisse out of the car, he reached into the back for a basket that she hadn't noticed before.

"A picnic?" she questioned.

He took her hand, swinging the picnic basket as they walked towards the shore. "I happen to know that you skipped lunch today."

"Really," she said mockingly. "And do you keep track of everything?"

"Everything that concerns you," he said as they came to a stop about ten feet from the water.

"You know, I don't think I've ever been on a real picnic," Clarisse mused as he set up their lunch.

After a lunch of sandwiches and fruit, they walked for awhile on the beach, hand-in-hand. Returning to the picnic basket, Joe and Clarisse sat together on the sand.

"This was a marvelous picnic, Joseph. Thank you," Clarisse said, looking up at him from where she rested against his chest.

Bending slightly, he kissed her. "You're welcome. I asked Charlotte to give you the whole afternoon off, what would you like to do?"

"I'm not sure, I'm quite comfortable here." She said, pressing closer to him. It was rare that they had moments like this one, when they were totally alone and not likely to be interrupted. Joseph shifted slightly to get more comfortable, and held her tighter. They lay in silence for a few long moments. Joseph was nearly asleep, when Clarisse got an idea.

"Joseph?" she asked, sitting up and looking down at him.

"Hmm?" he replied, opening his eyes.

"Will you teach me to drive a car?"

"Are you serious?" he was wide awake now and sitting up across from her.

"Yes," she said, her eyes glittering. "Will you?"

Her excitement was catching, and laughing, he jumped up and pulled her to her feet. "Of course, I will!"

Clarisse sat behind the wheel of the car. It was a whole new experience for her. She has learned to drive once, but it was years ago, and she remembered nothing. She had never needed to drive anywhere.

"Seatbelt." Joseph said, climbing into the passenger seat.

She clicked her seatbelt, then looked at her feet. "Joseph, there are three pedals!" she exclaimed in surprise. He laughed.

"Darling this is a manual transmission car. The means you have to shift the gears yourself. Now, the pedal all the way on the right is the gas. Next to that is the brake. And the one to the far left is the clutch. Push that one all the way in." he instructed.

She did, and then he had her start the car. Clarisse jumped in surprise when she let out the clutch too fast and the car stalled. The second time she got it right, and he then explained the stick used to shift.

"That's first gear, straight back is second, up over and up is third, that's fourth, fifth, and reverse. And the middle is neutral. Understand?"

"I think so." Clarisse said, eyeing the thing with confusion written clearly on her face.

"Okay, now push in the clutch and put the car in first gear."

She did so asking, "Do I have to push that in every time I…shift?"

"Yes. It'll get easier, I promise. Just takes practice. Now, what you're going to do is let up on the clutch and about halfway, you're going to push down _gently_ on the gas. Okay?"

It took her several tries, and she grew frustrated. Finally, she got it and the car began to move forward.

"Don't forget to steer!" Joseph said, smiling proudly. As Clarisse drove down the winding wooded road, she began to gather some confidence, and went faster. "Shift into second."

This proved to be rather difficult, and she nearly drove off the narrow road. Joseph was patient, and said nothing as he reached over to adjust the steering wheel.

"Why don't we turn around and go back now," Joseph said after they had gone several miles. "Let off on the gas, darling." He said gently, trying not to become irritated. It was hard teaching someone how to drive. Never having children, he hadn't ever had to do it. "Now push in the clutch and downshift into first."

She did so, then repeated the process and came to a complete, though abrupt stop, stalling the car.

"I'm sorry!" she cried, her voice nervous.

Joseph leaned across to kiss her cheek, soothing her a little. "It's all right. You're just learning. And let me tell you, it is considerably harder to learn to drive on a standard, than on an automatic."

Clarisse took a moment to relax, then started the car, and pulled forward. He then had her make a three point turn, which she did beautifully. On the way back, things took a turn for the worse.

She was driving along, gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white when another car appeared, driving towards them.

"Oh, my God, Joseph! What do I do? It's a car!"

"Calm down, darling. Just pull over a little and keep driving…Not that far over!" he cried as the trees to his right came a little too close for comfort. Clarisse swung abruptly back into the center of the road once the car was gone. "Clarisse!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Okay, it's all right. No harm done, just please try to keep it on the road. I like this car."

Clarisse nodded, her face pale. This driving thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be. She focused all her attention on the road now and forgot all about where she was supposed to be going.

"Clarisse? Clarisse, you have to downshift!" Joe said, not quite concealing his irritation. Somehow pulling it off, she did, but it wasn't quite slow enough. "Let OFF on the gas!"

"I DID!" she snapped back.

"There it is, brakes…brakes…BRAKE!" Joseph shouted. Clarisse jumped on the brake, and the car jerked to a stop in front of their picnic site. Clarisse turned to look at Joseph, who wore and aggravated expression, and promptly burst into tears. Joe immediately regretted his harsh words, and taking the keys out of the ignition, and releasing her seatbelt, he got out of the car and came around to the driver's side.

Opening the door, he gently pulled her out of the car and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry, Clarisse. I didn't mean to yell. I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"I'm sorry, I'm a bad driver…"

"You're not. Really, you did very well. Except for that little bit at the end." He said, trying to make her smile.

"Did I hurt the car?" she asked in a small voice.

"Not too much." He grinned at her.

"And you're not mad at me?"

"No, although something must be done about the whiplash you gave me. I know just the punishment too."

She raised her eyebrows but before she could respond, he had scooped her up into his arms and was jogging towards the lake. Clarisse screamed as the water splashed around them.

"No, Joseph! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, please don't get me…Ahhhh!" her begging was cut short when he dropped her in the water. She surfaced immediately, coughing and sputtering. He helped her up, then began to laugh as she stood dripping wet in front of him.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" she asked, hands on her hips glaring at him as he was only a little more than knee deep in the water. He nodded, still laughing. Suddenly, she threw herself at him, knocking him off balance and backwards into the water.

"Still funny?" she asked as he sat in the lake staring at her in disbelief.

Joseph gave her his best disgruntled look and splashed her again. What followed was a water fight to remember. Ten minutes later, Joseph surrendered, as he was laughing too hard to continue. They dragged themselves out of the lake, and tried their best to wring out the water in their clothes.

"Thank you, Joseph." Clarisse said reaching out to touch his face. "I had the best time today, despite my near-death experience driving." She giggled.

Joseph pulled her into an embrace and kissed her lightly. "You are most welcome, my darling. It was nice to see you laughing again." He glanced down at her, so calm now, nothing like she'd been earlier this afternoon.

"So," he teased, "Would you like to drive home?"

_A/N: This actually wasn't very hard to write once I sat down to do it. Picture me in Clarisse's place. Yes, I'm learning to drive on a standard it is the most nerve-wracking thing! Please review! Lizz_


End file.
